"Can a couple survive in an open relationship?"(Part 2)

Readers we have gotten the answers to your questions from Madison. Don't know if she was quite ready for you, but she has finally spoken.

Risque: Many people in relationships aren't so kin about sharing their mate openly yet this is something that you do everyday. It has become pretty much the norm in your household. A lot of people would say that's strange.

Madison: An open relationship is very often misunderstood because the concept of a "Relationship" let alone the beautiful process of "INTIMACY" is misconstrued. A "Relationship" is defined as a connection that exists between or among any persons, groups, nations, etc. due to communications: verbal as well as nonverbal. INTIMACY is defined as familiarity. Unfortunately, many people define "INTIMACY" with a tunnel vision. "INTIMACY" = SEX in many peoples limited view.

Risque: True, sometimes people tend to use these words interchangeable. How do you keep things from getting messy?

Madison: An open relationship involves one communicating with his or her partner about the intimate connections that one chooses to make with someone outside of his or her immediate relationship. The individuals who choose this lifestyle must keep the lines of communication open hence open relationship. They must also decide the rules and regulations for their agreement.

Risque: Okay, you and your mate have talked and agreed to do this. Rules and regs have been set in place. With all this intimacy going on, eventually no matter what is you say..sex is going to come up. I can't see anyway around this happening.

Madison: Sex is another important part of a relationship that people view differently. Many people think that sex only occurs once physical contact has been made, but studies as well as people reveal otherwise. Studies show that sex is 90% mental and 10% physical. In most people's eyes this is vice verso: 90% is physical and 10% is mental. Technically, in order to have sex with someone, all one has to really do is fantasize.

Risque: Wow, that's deep. Most people don't understand that. When a woman meets a man, she has already decided whether or not she is going to have sex with him. Men on the other hand, think they have fooled or convinced the women into having sex. Women size the man up, sit back and anticipate how he's going to be in bed. Sex usually does start in the head for women.

Madison: Where is the Vagina, the Penis, and the Heart?

Risque: What? LOL!

Madison: Many people fail to acknowledge the most important sexual organ on an individual's body. It's not between the legs of either sex. The most important sexual organ is the brain. The brain is where the vagina, penis and heart is located. The organ between my legs is only used to release the necessary warm liquid when I have my "physical" orgasm, which is the after affect of my mental one. Many people are sleeping with other people outside of their immediate intimate relationship already. The difference between most people and me, is the fact that my partner and I accepted reality.

I hear so many women and men say that "As long as my partner ain't out physically fucking somebody else, I don't care what he or she is thinking". Oh boy do they have the wrong idea about sex!

Risque: Well Madison, this interview has definitely been enlightening and interesting. Thanks for sharing and answering our readers question. Any final words for the readers?

Madison: Sex and sexuality are two very misunderstood entitites when it comes to being human. Sex is 90% mental and only 10% physical. The brain is the most important errogenous zone of a human. The vagina, penis, and, heart are located upstairs. The untensil downstairs is just the outershell into the most beautiful vision inside. A mental orgasm should always occur before a physical one. Therefore, when it comes to intimate and sexual interactions between two ladies, if one woman can stimulate another woman's mind, then the body will follow suit.

Many times peoples ignorance concerning anything presents so many limitations. I was very ignorant about so many things pertaining to sex and sexuality. There are still a large number of things that I am unaware of concernig those particular topics, but I am going to enjoy the journey.

Answers to the readers questions are as follow:

Readers: If she has so called been in an open relationship for 2 1/2 years, who's to say her son is her husband? The son is 3, is she saying they started their open relationship 2 1/2 so he wouldn't question if the child was his(husband)?

1. I along with many other people have been having sex with other people (if one goes by the true definition of sex) long before my husband and I agreed to have an open-relationship. My son is three. If my husband and I have been in an open relationship for 2 1/2 years, there were 6 months that my husband and I had not considered it at all.

2. We started our open relationship after my son was born, partly because I became more aware and in touch with my body. When a woman has a baby, her entire body goes through a metamorphosis. My libido increased drastically. I began researching and reading more about the history of human sexual nature, urges, curiosities, practices, fetishes, and fantasies. Due to this, I wanted to explore my sexuality and sexual practices even more.

Readers: When did she decide she wanted women instead of men?

3. I decided that I wanted women instead of men after my 1st two experiences with women, while I was in an open relationship with my husband.

Readers: I want to know why the guest considers herself a lesbian and not bi-sexual? Lesbian's are only into women. She is married to a man, so is she saying she's not having sex with her husband any more? And if she's not having sex with her husband, is it by choice, he can't get hard, or she's not attracted to him anymore? What made her want to go out and seek others?

4. Depending on how one views sex determines how he or she defines his or her sexuality. Many times we allow the majority to govern indirectly our own outlook on life, especially, when it comes to sex and marriage. Take for example, the common misconception about marriage: People marry for different reasons in addition to remaining married. It may be due to kids, friendship, sex, finances, business partners, etc. Just because two individuals are married does not mean they are physically sexual or just because two individuals are married does not mean that they even have to get physical to have a sexual interaction (mental sex, aural sex, oral sex, text sex, phone sex, cyber sex, voyeurism, etc).

I love my husband and I still have a very intimate (familiar) relationship with him, but my body, mind, and soul unites, connects, enjoys, interacts with women physically, spiritually, and mentally. I don't think, fantasize, etc. about men. Since sex is 90% mental and 10% physical. I give women 100% when it comes to my sexuality.

5. No.

6. My lack of desire to interact with my husband is due to me evolving into my true identity, My husband is not suffering from erectile dysfunction that I know of. My choice to be with women is not because, I am not attracted to him anymore. I am not attracted to men period!

Readers: When did you all decide to have an open relationship? Did one of you all get caught cheating and decided to have an open relationship as an alternative to breaking up? Is your husband out there also or does the rules of the open relationship just apply to you? When you all started the open relationship thing, did you see men and women?

7. Something that most people can't and refuse to deal with is REALITY! Many people go outside of their immediate relationship without communicating this desire with their partners. I was just honest and open enough with myself to communicate these desires with my husband and therefore ready to deal with what ever the immediate consequences may have been. Many people live in the Land of Make-Believe therefore Make-Do.

8. We have attempted the Swinging Lifestyle, but came to realize that there were many factors of the Swinging Lifestyle that did not benefit us, for example: My husband may have been very attracted to a woman. As a couple involved in the "Lifestyle" the other is obligated to interact too, possibly with someone he or she may not even have a connection with. I did not like it when the shoe was on my foot (especially if a man was involved) and I know that my husband did not like when the shoe was on his foot. Therefore, he and I began researching other avenues to deal with our reality: the fact that we were still attracted and fantasized about other people. That's when we came across the concept of an open relationship. He would not be obligated to interact with a woman he was not attracted to and I would not have to interact with a someone that I was not attracted to, be it a man or a woman at that time.

9. Neither one of us got caught cheating physically, but I am certain that he was cheating on me mentally and I know that the same applied to me. The saddest part about the concept known as infidelity is the fact that many people cheat themselves by not accepting reality.

10. My husband and I believe in freedom. Whether people will accept it or not, individuals will do whatever or whomever they like. My husband and I feel like this is just an absolute truth when it comes to human nature. I don't believe that one intimate relationship with one individual should or even restricts one from being or desiring other relationships with other people. My husband has the right to be happy, therefore, be himself!

11. When we first started the open relationship, I did see men and women, but one must 1st understand that just because a couple is in an open relationship does not mean that an individual Has to be involved with someone else. It means that one Has the CHOICE to be or not to be! An open relationship gives one the freedom to explore one's sexual appetite, for example, there maybe a couple who is in an open relationship in which the lady may not be receiving oral sex from her man. She may have this one colleague who can perform oral sex great. The lady may still interact with her man when it comes to sex in other ways, but because she really enjoys oral sex, she likes knowing that she has the freedom to go elsewhere. The man in this same relationship may like exhibitionism. His wife is too shy. But he has a female acquaintance who really enjoys performing exhibitionism. They both tried to expose each other to their desires before going outside of their relationship, but the chemistry just isn't there for the two of them when it came to those two fetishes. So, should they be restricted from experiencing sexual bliss? Personally, I don't think so, especially with me knowing how good it is to receive oral sex from a skilled performer! LOL.

Readers: Have you had a man and women at the same time? How often to you go out on your Rendezvous? Since your are into women, does your husband join in or are the women you date only into women?

12. Yes, I have had a man and a woman physically in a sexual way at one time. It was a very beneficial learning experience. I was able to be a third party studying a sexual union between two people. Boy did I see a show! Experience is a great teacher verses ignorance. I saw, tasted, smell, felt, and heard so many things that I had never known before.

13. I am presently in a relationship with a woman. We have been together going on a year and a half. She knows that I am married and accepts it. The only type of rendezvous that I experience are those with her and ooh do we have some pretty hot erotic escapades.

14. My husband does not join in physically. Mentally only he truly knows where his "head" is. LOL! When it comes to my relationships with women, the only preference is that she has to be a STUD! I don't care if she's bisexual or lesbian.